Erica: Finding the Right Fostering Match

Erica and her husband had been thinking about fostering for a few years, inspired by their great friend, an experienced foster carer who describes fostering as ‘the best job in the world’. When their children turned 19 and 21 and they had a spare bedroom, they contacted Fitzgerald Fostering and took the first step on their fostering journey.

Here, Erica shares her experience of the matching process.

What was important to you when you were initially thinking about the child you would like to be matched with?

My husband and I began the process thinking that, for our family dynamics, we would ideally like to foster a boy between the ages of 5 and 12. However, we were eventually matched with an 11-year-old girl, Emily*, who turned out to be the ideal match for us. Being matched with her was down to the team at Fitzgerald Fostering really understanding the needs of our household and who would be the right fit for us. They also understood that, because of the way we run our home, we would be able to meet her needs too.

For us, a key part of the matching process was taking the needs of our adult children into consideration as they still live at home with us. They are neurodiverse so we thought carefully about areas such as sensory sensitivities – for example, having a young child who was particularly noisy was unlikely to work well for us as a family.

Was the process as you had expected?

The matching process was explained very clearly by Fitzgerald Fostering so we really knew what to expect and we were very impressed by the thoroughness of the team at Fitzgerald Fostering. They took time to present us with the right match.

For me, one of the real strengths of fostering through Fitzgerald Fostering, an independent agency, was the level of support and scrutiny around matching.  Fostering through a local authority involves the child’s social worker and the foster carer’s social worker both being employed by the local authority. However, having a supervising social worker employed by Fitzgerald Fostering working closely with the child’s local authority social worker brought an independent perspective to the process. I think this is a real advantage. My social worker was able to be critical and say ‘there’s not enough information about this’ or  ‘we need to delve deeper here’ or ‘is this really an ideal fit?’ The process felt led by suitability and the long-term needs of our family and the child, rather than by any pressure to make a match.

In fact, my supervising social worker was fantastic. When you are reading a referral for a child that you are considering as a potential match, you really are led by your heartstrings. My social worker was there to be practical and raise questions that we needed to think about. She’d say things like ‘Erica, this child is at school 45 mins away, how will you make that work?’ She understood what could end up becoming too much for us and for the child.

How long did the process take?

We were approved as foster carers in November and agreed to the match in January. As Emily was in a placement that was a ‘stop gap’ without a fixed end date, the priority was finding the right next place for her. This meant that we had the luxury of a long transition period, which I know is not always possible as many children need to move by a certain date.

We were lucky enough to meet Emily several times before she moved in with us, and we spoke to each other a lot on the phone too. We first met her at her previous foster carer’s home. She then came to us for tea one evening, I took her out for the day, and she also came here for a sleepover.

How is it going so far?

It’s going really well. It feels as though she’s been here a lot longer – everything feels right. When you are first approved as a foster carer you are approved initially for short-term placements but this can be extended during the review process. From the outset, we always wanted a long-term placement so as long as everything goes to plan, we hope Emily will stay with us until she is 18.

We feel really well supported. We know we can pick up the phone to our social worker at any time, even for the simplest of things. We can also call Sue (Fitzgerald Fostering’s Registered Manager), James (Fitzgerald Fostering’s Managing Director) or Baljit (Fitzgerald Fostering’s therapist and social worker) at any time. We feel held – we’re not doing this alone. A really good example of this happened when Emily had only been with us for a couple of weeks. I was driving to pick her up from an after-school club at 4.30pm when I got a blowout in my tyre. I didn’t have a spare tyre, and my husband was working in London, so he was not close by. I rang Sue, who immediately offered to pick Emily up and bring her back to me when I was home. That level of support is exceptional. If you are a single foster carer in particular, I think having that level of backup is even more important.

What tips would you give to other foster carers about finding the right match for their household?

Be open – if we had stayed as rigid in our thinking, we wouldn’t have necessarily found the right placement as quickly as we did.

It is also really important that the people involved in the matching process understand your capabilities, your home environment and your family dynamics. You need to be honest with them, and then trust them during the matching process.

Thank you, Erica for sharing your experience and for providing a loving home to Emily.

If you’d like to find out more about fostering with Fitzgerald Fostering – and you live in  Guildford, Slough, Reading, Bracknell, Farnham, Maidenhead, Wokingham or surrounding areas – please contact us to find out more or call us on 01753550031. At Fitzgerald Fostering, we are with you all the way.

*Please note, Emily is not the foster child’s real name.